How To Overcome Suffering And Find Hope In Any Situation
(BOOK REVIEW - Personality Isn't Permanent)
"In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning." - Victor Frankl
*Disclaimer: I was not compensated for this review in any_ way besides receiving pre-release editions of this book. Medium.com is also not compensating me for this article. Opinions are completely my own._
The tendency we sometimes have to purposely avoid the topics of "religion" and "politics" to avoid controversies or disagreements with friends and acquaintances, while admirable for politeness' sake, is at the same time deeply troubling to me.
Your religion is the collection of all your personal and spiritual beliefs - the blueprint, morals, and values for how you as a person have decided to live your life.
Politics is the nature of how societies with collective, shared beliefs, unite (or sadly, sometimes fight) over common values, organizing and governing themselves based on those beliefs.
If you avoid religion and politics, the micro and macro of your existence, you avoided difficult conversations, yes, but what do you have to stand on? How do you clarify and refine your belief system and your goals, without constantly walking on eggshells in respect to those around you?
Enter this book: Personality Isn't Permanent , by Benjamin Hardy.
- While this book certainly isn't it's own religion, it will undoubtedly strengthen the core beliefs you hold most precious, and will also likely help you rethink and shatter the beliefs that aren't serving your highest, future, self.
- And while this book isn't of the political genre, I emphatically believe this book will fundamentally transform our homes, communities, schools, and governments. This is because change happens on an individual level, first and foremost.
These are bold claims which I'll explain in the rest of my review.
Welcome to the[7 Habits ](https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful/dp/1451639619/ref=pd_ lpo_ 14_ t_ 0/138-2690601-0054561?_ encoding=UTF8&pd_ rd_ i=1451639619&pd_ rd_ r=5eed39a0-d2cb-4a5c-865b-c59501eea9d2&pd_ rd_ w=NK3gQ&pd_ rd_ wg=BcC9x&pf_ rd_ p=7b36d496-f366-4631-94d3-61b87b52511b&pf_ rd_ r=0YG8XEE4KZJQ6RJ15E2V&psc=1&refRID=0YG8XEE4KZJQ6RJ15E2V) of the 21st Century.
Am I over-hyping this book for dramatic marketing or attention-getting purposes alone?
It may appear so, but I'd safely say "probably not."
The truth is, I read (literally) hundreds of non-fiction books every year. I've studied the whole gamut. I've come across many authors I enjoy, and many more who I'll pass the next time around.
And while I enjoy many of the emerging ideas in personal development, and Benjamin Hardy's other books in particular, nothing spoke from the wide gamut like Personality.
This book is not only timely and academic, but personable and actionable. As I said before, I've been blessed to read hundreds of books recently, but very few check all 4 on that list.
In the next sections of this review, I'll briefly share my honest thoughts and experiences from this book. Let's dive in!
1. Why It's Needed
"If it's rare to put yourself into the vulnerable position of not knowing the answers or how things will turn out, then you likely have trauma from your past that is holding you hostage - emotionally - and stopping you from fully developing your potential as a person." - Benjamin Hardy
**'The vulnerable position of not knowing the answers or how things will turn out?' ** Those words were published many months ago, but they perfectly describe the reality you and I face!
The world is becoming increasingly chaotic and _ busy._ I don't care who you are. This has been a crazy year. Tremendous growth, tremendous progress, and tremendous hardships are happening all at once.
While many around the world are suffering from various current events at the time of this writing (riots, pandemic, lost loved ones, natural/biological disasters)...there will be a light at the end of this tunnel.
The world will shift.
And when that happens, who do you want to, and, (a better question), who are you going, to become?
A few months ago, I wrote this article about some experiences I was facing at the time, and the stupidity of the rigid ways we view not just others but ourselves. In that article, I contended that we all live by an identity, and that identity is not something you were born with nor stuck with - but rather, can and should be chosen yourself.
Who is your future self?
It's VERY easy to be reactive and scared right now. I have experienced many of those same emotions. I have empathy for your situation.
Essentially, your emotions and your psychology are stuck on the same level, almost like a video game, constantly looping, where you can't get past the checkpoint.
Personality Isn't Permanent addresses this issue head-on. "Trauma" is keeping you from achieving your goals, in little and big ways. It's keeping you from imagining a life beyond your current situation. I myself have found it extremely difficult to picture myself beyond the current events the world faces, even though I know they will eventually end.
Despite current events, you need to restore your hope and your vision for the future. To borrow the words of another great author, Richie Norton, your future and your dreams are real - and despite chaos, CAN be achieved. This is what he said:
"Personality Isn't Permanent is the book we all hope is true. And Ben Hardy makes the most compelling and hopeful case that it is. Revolutionary."
Please take a moment and consider your future. It exists beyond any trial you currently face. Use the tools in this book to actively create it.
2. How It Changed Me (and Ben himself)
A little over 6 months ago, I had the opportunity to read the pre-release edition...I ended up doing so, multiple times. Why?
Every time I faced another difficult or unique situation in my life, I would go back to it.
- Starting a new year
- An emotionally painful car accident
- The stress-growth of taking 25 quarter credits at once in college (15 is full schedule)
- And now, I return to this book again, during COVID-19, lockdowns, and other traumatic events that have effected many, many, people.
This isn't an average self-help book. It's a map for the fiercest of warriors to guide themselves through the ever-thickening jungle of life.
This book forced me to think about the family, the energy, the career, the relationship with God, and the lifestyle, that I will have someday. It will do so the same for you.
Dr. Daniel Gilbert, Harvard psychologist, gave a wildly popular [TED talk](https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_ the_ psychology_ of_ your_ future_ self)on this issue. He said few people think about their future self, not because it isn't necessary or important, but simply because they falsely believe they've reached the limit of their growth.
As we explored previously, not only do you need to believe that a future beyond your situation exists, but you now need to decide specifically who and what that future will entail, and immediately strive for it.
In evergreen fashion, use this book whether at your highest or lowest moments to re-gather your courage and ratchet up. The principles for adapting and changing your future self are always relevant, regardless of your current income or status.
This is evidenced because the author actually walks his talk: From a broken home filled with hard drugs, addicted to video games and junk food, Ben himself grew spiritually, mentally, and financially, rising through college, serving his church, and becoming a bestselling author.
He did these things by being radically clear on his future self - something you'll learn extensively in this book.
That's the great thing about your personality - you are no longer defined by your past. If you sat around during lock-down watching Netflix 6 hours a day, and you'd rather take a different path moving forward, you can use that story as information to become a completely different person.
Personality Isn't Permanent _ _explores the psychology behind your past, present, and future - and teaches you how to morph them into a story and a reality that serves you, rather than enslaves you.
3. Your Personal Path To Your Future Self
Where do you go from here?
You have a future, which you should specifically create. Will you?
It's time to get clear on your one goal, your vehicle for the future, and accelerate that future using these tools.
With hundreds of journal prompts and active exercises to aid you in doing these things, you can't fully read Personality Isn't Permanent and _ not_ make some serious changes to your life.
As I said at the beginning, and now closing, this book is timely, academic, personable, and actionable. I've been blessed to read hundreds of books over the last few years, but very few check all 4 on that list. Overcome your trauma, get clear on your goals, and accelerate.
Depending on when you read this, it likely comes out TODAY or already hit the shelves. Grab a copy and read yourself out of being stuck. I'm excited for you!