How To Quickly Build A Fulfilling Relationship With Anyone
Little matters more than people.
I used to be very shy and scared. I was excited about opportunities like online business because I could create and dream without interacting with anyone else.
The more I looked around, I saw that the most successful entrepreneurs were not isolated geniuses. They had powerful networks, powerful teams, and amazing people around them.
I changed my behavior accordingly and made connecting with people a high priority. I now love connecting with other people and have a network of mentors and friends.
This is not automatic, however. If you do not have the kind of network you want, there are reasons.
1. You Don't Really Care About People Yet
"We are leaving the industrial economy and entering the connection economy." - Seth Godin
Many people network for the sake of advancing their career or business, and not because they are genuinely interested in helping other human beings or learning from others.
This strategy will not go far.
If you do not truly care, you will end up like the annoying person at conferences who hands out 500 business cards and forms zero relationships.
Humans have a basic need to be connected. Business, money, and the economy are connective tissues that allow us to interact, trade ideas, and serve each other.
Notwithstanding the gains you can get from a strong network, you should cultivate relationships because it is inherently worth it.
People need amazing friends.
If you are shy or scared to open up, recognize that you can change as a person. Make the decision. You are no longer defined by previous tendencies.
"...it's this simple: Business is just relationships. That's all it is." - Dana Derricks
Business is relationships: partners, bosses, clients, mentors, friends, mastermind groups, and the people your work serves.
All progress comes when your ideas meet the world. Your work has no value unless somebody else wants it.
Thus, people are the key.
2. You're A Bad Receiver
"To truly receive, you must take the gift and run with it - achieve your goals, make your project succeed, seal the victory!" - Richie Norton
How often do you deflect praise?
Have you confused humility with cowardice?
When someone gives praise, most people downplay it: "Thanks, but..." or "I don't really deserve this."
These statements may appear outwardly to be humility, but when you reject a generous gift in words, money, time, or energy, you close the door on future success.
There is a story of Tony Robbins before he was Tony Robbins. He was poor at the time, but had lunch with a wealthy older man. When the older man reached to pay, Tony tried to snatch the check because he wanted to prove he was generous.
The older man asked, in effect:
"Would you deprive me of my chance to give to you? Are you that selfish?"
To fully become a good giver, you have to become a good receiver.
Do not reject gifts. Do not reject praise. Stop being a bad receiver.
Receive with grace:
- "Yes, thank you."
- "Yes, because of this great person."
- "Yes, I am grateful and honored."
Let people give to you.
Receive with grace.
3. You Failed To Give
"Life gives to the giver and takes from the taker." - Joe Polish
Receiving and taking are completely opposite terms.
Receiving amplifies the relationship for everyone.
Taking erodes value for everyone.
It is easy to get somebody to do almost anything you want if you have genuinely given them much more than what you are asking.
Short version: spoil people.
Negotiations become easier. Sales become easier. Partnerships become easier.
Ask appropriately. Receive with grace, but also give others the opportunity to receive by giving to them as much as you can.
Very few people have mastered both giving and receiving. Give more. Be on the positive side.
4. You're Not Playing Big Enough
"Mentorship is about helping them achieve their goals, not about you achieving yours. Yours will happen as a byproduct." - Benjamin Hardy
We all dream of connecting with the key person, the number one person in the industry.
Often they are some of the kindest, most generous people, but many other people want their help too.
How do you stand out and become a true peer instead of another fan?
Spot a hole in what they are currently doing and give them tools to improve it.
This can be an outrageously good testimonial. It can be creating content for them, mentioning them on your blog, writing about them, or promoting their work to your audience.
Every business and every brand has weaknesses. Look at your heroes and ask: where could I fill a hole?
Then do it. Do not create more problems for them to deal with. Bring something valuable and say, "I made this; I hope it helps."
If you provide something insanely valuable, you rise to the top of their priority list.
You should not be afraid to connect with whoever you want to connect with. Fill their needs. Help them out. You will build rewarding relationships in more than one way.
Conclusion
These are the key things.
You know what you need to do.
Go connect people and ideas.
Spot something new.
Give.